The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
