I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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