id be glad to
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you mean i was at the winter classic?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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