I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
