he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
