HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
