summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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