i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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