Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
