tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Old men and throwing up are my life now.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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