wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
