I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
