OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
