Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
