She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
