Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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