can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
