I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
