Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
