it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
