My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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