Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
