you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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