That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
