So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
