ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The air was thick with penises
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Randomize
