im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
