i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
