The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
