i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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