No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
