I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
