Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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