I wish I could teleport
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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