I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
