How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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