Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
