Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
