Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
