Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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