its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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