is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
