Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
