well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
