I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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