me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i think i have two assholes
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
