And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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