i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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