So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
