found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
